Top 3 Reasons People Have Affairs

The truth is that there is no one reason why a married man or woman might have an affair.  There are a variety of reasons that will overlap and mesh together depending on who we’re talking about.

Even happily married couples can find one or both of them in a situation where they are having an affair, all it takes is for one person to convince themselves that it’s okay, they’ll get away with it and for the opportunity to present itself and just like that, there’s an affair going on.

Why People Have Affairs

1)  Increase in the contact with the opposite sex -  This really is the situation that presents itself because suddenly a friendship can develop between two people who are regularly in the same place.  Out of this ‘innocent friendship’ an intimacy and closeness develops and before you know it, things have become physical.

If your husband or wife has a ‘friend’ who is a member of the opposite sex, then you need to sit down with your spouse and discuss the boundaries of that friendship.  Some spouses categorically refuse to entertain the idea of their spouse having a friend of the opposite sex, and given that these ‘friendships’ can quickly become something more, it’s no wonder really.

2)  Are your emotional needs being met?  This really is a biggy!  If your spouse isn’t there for you and is taking you for granted, then it’s really easy to find yourself moving towards someone else who ‘values you!’   We basically want to feel as though we’re valued, men especially, and the human psyche that it is means that we will go looking for someone who laughs at our jokes, who will listen to us whine about our day and who will change their schedule because we need them.

A change in life circumstances is often the trigger here for why people have affairs.  A new baby, new job – these are times in your life when you have to be prepared to talk to each other more than ever and listen to each other or you might find your spouse has moved on to talk to someone else.

3)  No time for each other - If your life is so hectic and so stressed that you have no time for your spouse then you are leaving your marriage open for the battering than one of you having an affair can bring.

You simply must make room and time for each other to be together socially and intimately.  Although it’s great to schedule time together and to stick to the time you have both ring fenced to be together, you both really need to understand that what is equally important is for the two of you to have some unscheduled time together.

If you can drop everything and just chill out together doing nothing but enjoying being together, this is often a great way to rebuild the intimacy between the two of you and where there’s real intimacy between spouses an affair very rarely happens.

The truth is that an affair can happen out of the blue and spouses often say they “never saw it coming!”  But if you take into account these 3 reasons why people have affairs and see if you or your spouse is falling down on any or all of these points, your marriage is ripe for one or both of you having an affair!

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