If you are the one initiating the break up, try to do it with love and compassion.  Whether you are truly calling it quits or just wanting a time out, remember that this is a person who has been important to you and you have a responsibility to take his or her feelings into account.

It’s generally best to tell the person that you want to break up in a public place.  That’s because people are less likely to embarrass themselves if others are around.  Also, don’t draw the break up out.  Just say your piece and leave.

Once you have broken up, leave the channels of communication open.  Be there for your ex when he or she needs you.

Don’t play games with your ex.  Some people suggest dating their best friend or flaunting a new date on your ex, but consider that if you ever make up, these things are going to haunt your new relationship.

If you have found that you want to get back together with your ex, consider the following:

· Tell them that you are interested
· Be interesting yourself – take up new activities and make new friends
· Try a new look – whether it is a new hair style or simply updating your grooming, your ex will notice.

Suggest that you meet your ex for lunch or some other non-romantic activity.  During this time, you can bring up the positive memories you shared.  You can also emphasize any changes you have made in your life.

If your ex gives you any indication that he or she is willing to give it a second try, don’t assume that you can start right back where you left off.  Woo your boyfriend or girlfriend.  Go out on romantic dates.  Start by holding hands, not jumping into the sack.

Also, give your relationship time to heal from the break up.  Don’t assume that your ex’s feelings weren’t hurt by the cooling off period.

Continue improving yourself.  Don’t fall into bad habits just because you’ve got your ex back.  Constantly strive to be the best boyfriend or girlfriend you can be.

That’s your guide to Relationships – Break up to Make up.

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The Truth is Do You Want to Save Your Marriage

Most marriages go through troubled times and discovering you’re at a point in your marriage, when your wife is either constantly screaming at you or freezing you out, is tough!  If you feel you’ve done everything to try and find out what’s going on, why her attitude has changed towards you, you might feel like the woman who’s been giving you the eye across the photo-copier at work holds some comfort.

After all most guys just want someone to love and someone to love them back!  It really is that simple!  I don’t care what kind of games guys play and what kind of macho posturing they perform, at the end of the day they just want a warm body to hold at night – yeah…but which warm body!

Guys, when trouble hits and you feel that you can do nothing right to please her or make her happy, then take it back to the beginning.

Take it back to when you were dating and you fell in love with her.  Remember what it was that made you appreciate and love her – there are reasons why you chose this lady to be your wife and those reasons don’t disappear easily.

Accept that there’s possibly something wrong for your wife for her not to be responding to you as you’d like.  Don’t sit back and wait for the storm to blow out, get in there and get her to talk to you about what’s going on for her.

Let your wife know that you’re there for her and there’s nothing she can’t talk to you about.  Make sure that your wife understnads that there’s a safe place she can go to for comfort and support and YOU are that place!

This is what marriage is all about – the good times and the bad times!

And at all costs, say no to the hottie at the photo-copier, it will only hurt your marriage!

Cheating Husband – Who You Gonna Blame

So bad that you can’t bear to be in the same living space together?  Then rather than jump straight for asking for a divorce, how about considering a marital separation?

Marital separations, when planned and used correctly, are a great way to save a marriage in crisis.  They act as a kind of pressure release valve and they can give the couple involved time and space to think about what they want, what they don’t want and give them time to work things out together.

What is vital though for a marital separation to work is that there needs to be some ground rules that both parties agree to and the best time to set up these ground rules is before the separation begins.  That way you both know where you are and there is little room for misunderstandings and problems.

Marital Separation Ground Rules

• Agree how long the separation will last.  You need to set out how long you’ll be separated for so that you both don’t just end up drifting along aimlessly for an indefinite length of time.  You can always agree to extend or shorten the time if that’s what you both feel you need.

• Try and have some understanding of what you both want from the separation.  Are you separating to give you both time to simply take a break from each other?  Is one of you ready to move on, but one of you thinks that the separation is to find a way back together?  Whatever it is you want or are agreeing to with a marital separation you MUST tell your spouse right at the beginning.  The least chance there is for misunderstandings the better!

• Think about the contact you and your spouse will have, especially if you have children together.  Will it be phone contact?  Face to face?  Can your spouse just drop round when they feel like it?  Will they still be able to use their key and come into the marital home whenever they want?  For a smooth separation, these are all things to think about and agree on.

• Will you both date other people, or are you both clear that there is to be no dating of other people?  Be up front and honest about this.

• If you have children, think about how access to the children will work!  Think about and discuss what you’ll both say to the children to make things as easy for them as possible.

• Take the time on your own, or with your spouse, to read through some marriage repair guides because this will give you some powerful advice about where your marriage has gone wrong and how you can put it back together.  For this I highly recommend Save My Marriage Today by Amy Waterman.

• Above all, while you’re separated, you really need to agree on how you will go about addressing the problems that have rocked your marriage and brought you to separate.  You should seriously think about getting expert help to discuss and find a way to repair the problems in your marriage.  Simply put, if all you do is take three months apart, talk occasionally and decide that you both miss each other and get back together, the problems that drove you both apart will still be there.  Only this time those problems might just drive you apart for good.

These are just some of the thinks for you to think about and agree upon before the separation.  Of course you will have other things that will be relevant to your own personal situation that you feel you want to add to the list.  Just be clear, that if it’s important to you, you lay that wish on the table in front of your spouse before the separation starts.  Because nothing will ruin a marital separation more if your spouse thinks one thing and you think another.

As I’ve said, what is vital is that you access a marriage repair guide.  Go to the official site of Amy Waterman and get her Marriage repair guide Save My Marriage Today.  This guide will give you the tools to save your marriage and understand what has gone wrong with your marriage.

Remember, if your marriage is important to you, you owe it to yourself and your spouse, to save your marriage.

Cheating Shocks

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I think without a doubt that if you are emotionally cheating on your spouse then you are cheating on your spouse!  Period!  Emotional cheating is akin to being a little bit pregnant.  You’re either pregnant or you’re not pregnant.  No gray areas.

Here’s Why I Believe Emotional Cheating is Cheating

• If you’re spending time with someone other than your spouse and you can’t tell your spouse about this person, then ask yourself why!

• If you’re talking to this other person about parts of your life that you wouldn’t normally share with a casual acquaintance, then ask yourself why.

• If you’re thinking about this other person and they’re occupying a big part of your private thoughts, ask yourself why.

The day that you start hiding a ‘friendship’, from your spouse you’re on dangerous ground.  You’re allowing someone else to walk into the sanctity of your relationship/marriage and that can only be a problem for the future.  How would your spouse feel if they found out that you were possibly discussing parts of your life with someone else?  Someone they had no clue about?

If you cannot come home and answer these two questions in all honesty, then you’re cheating on your spouse:

“Honey how was your day?”

“What did you do?”

Does it mean you have to tell your spouse about every little detail of your day?  No!  But the significant parts yes.  It’s what healthy couples do to keep their relationships happy.  Remember, it’s been proven that the route to misery and broken relationships lays plenty in the keeping of secrets.

Is emotional cheating really cheating?  Hell, yes!

Need some more help getting your marriage/relationship back on track?  Then go get it TODAY!  Amy Waterman’s “Save My Marriage Today” is a super ecourse to help restore intimacy and it will help you save your marriage/relationship.

Catch a Cheat by Performing a Reverse Cell Lookup

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Should you Forgive your Cheating Spouse?

You might initially feel that you want to forgive your cheating spouse, but does it mean that you should?

Well the truth is only you can decide that because only you know if you’re still in love with your spouse or if it’s even feasible to forgive and continue in the relationship.

Ask yourself, is this the first time your spouse cheated?  Has your spouse fallen in love with their lover?  Weigh up your personal situation and make a decision based on that.

What’s good to remember though is that a spouse cheating doesn’t have to mean the end of the marriage/relationship.

So Just How do I Forgive my Cheating Spouse

Your first step to forgiving in this situation is to talk to your spouse and openly and completely express to them just how you feel.  Don’t leave anything back.

Get ready to own your part in the break down of the relationship!  I mean the signs of cheating are always there but many people choose to ignore those signs and pretend as if everything is okay.  Sometimes the other person point blank knows but just doesn’t want to face it.  And sometimes the other person just carries on in blissful ignorance, at times getting a little tweak that something is wrong, but they don’t have the drive to go rooting around to find out what’s going on.

It’s classic – people who don’t want to face it over look the fact that they haven’t talked in a while, they haven’t been intimate in months and they don’t have any idea what’s going on with their spouse, but they tell themselves that ‘everything’s ok because he/she hasn’t said!’

Well now you have to stop burying your head in the sand and face the state of your marriage.  Find out what’s gone wrong with the relationship, because something clearly has.  It’s going to be painful to perhaps have to face your own mistakes in the break down of the marriage, but it might be far less painful than going through a divorce.

There’s just no way around it, understanding how to forgive your cheating spouse means you have get down and dirty within the goo and mess of the marriage and start rooting around in there.  Trying to forgive a cheating spouse is not an easy and straight forward undertaking.  You should keep this in mind as you weigh up what you want to do.  But also remember there is always a chance that if two people want it badly enough, a marriage can be saved.

You might also want to make use of Amy Waterman’s “Save My Marriage Today”. I’ve read through the course and I’d really recommend it as a way forward to help you forgive your spouse.

***  New service from the “Is Your Spouse Cheating Team”: if you want to know if any of the products we recommend on our site might be for you, then just CONTACT US, tell us about your personal situation and we’ll do our best to advise you whether we think a product might or might not be for you! ***

Signs of a Cheating Husband – Showering

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Your first move to save your marriage should always be to sit down rationally and calmly and talk openly to your spouse.  If this is as important to you as your plea sounds “help me save my marriage” then you will work your butt off to make sure your spouse will sit down with you.

Explain to your spouse why you want to save your marriage and let them know how important it and they are to you.  If you’ve made a mistake then you need to apologize and explain why you made your mistake – without blaming your spouse.  You have to give concrete and sincere reasons about why that mistake won’t ever happen again.  If you need to go to counseling together or alone, then you must agree to do that.  All of this will show your spouse that you truly are prepared to do what it takes to fix and repair your marriage.

Marriages often run into trouble when one or both of you stop making time to be in the marriage.  So it is vital that if you want to save your marriage that you make time for your marriage.  Think of your marriage as a garden plant that needs constant care, attention, food and water and what happens if you don’t attend to your garden plant, well it dies a slow and desperate death.

Let your spouse know just how important they are to you and you do this by making time for them.  Save your marriage by clearing your schedule every now and then for a couple of hours and spending it doing something either for them or with them.

If you’re really serious about saving your marriage then please start today and make sure that everything you do, you do because you sincerely mean it.

Need further help with anything to help save your marriage?  Contact the Is Your Spouse Cheating team and we’ll get back to you with any help or advice we can offer. Just click here for further free help.

Top Reasons Why She Will Cheat On You

“Why would she even cheat on me?”  Is a classic question that gets asked time and time again and not having the answer to that question can drive you crazy!  Here’s some pointers…

Why She Will Cheat On You!

Attention – You give her everything money can buy, but she cheats on you.  Everything money can buy is great for some women, but have you given her your attention?

Most women need to feel validated and wanted and that means you have to make time in your life to show her that she is important enough to make time for.  If you are consistently too busy, or too stressed, or too tired to spend some quality time with her, she will begin to feel marginalized and she will go looking for the attention that she needs from someone else.

Lack Of Intimacy – Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that women don’t enjoy or need regular sex.  Many women are just as sexually expressive as many men and if your love life has died or become boring and static, then some women will go outside the marriage/relationship to look for the excitement that they need.

If you need to spice things up, then do so now before she even gets the thought in her head that things aren’t quite right.

Lack Of Communication – Over time it can be difficult to maintain healthy and regular communication.  You both get busy with careers or children and life in general and before you know it, you haven’t had a chat in days/weeks.  If this is the situation then you really need to stop and make time to find out what is going on in her life.  How she’s feeling about the things that are important to her.

Romance – Again, time can rob you of romance but if you want to stop her cheating on you, you absolutely better make sure that you make time for romance.

Women need to feel as though their man thinks they’re special.  If you’ve let yourself go and are regularly found slobbing about in dirty sweats and sneakers, then you need to get yourself in shape and treat yourself to some new clothes.  Once a month take her out and make a fuss of her.  Get a regular “date night” going on!  Help out around the house!  All of which will boost the level of romance in your marriage/relationship and help to stop her cheating.

Basically the top methods to stop her cheating are really to do with making time for her and having an interest in what she does and what she wants.  Concentrate your efforts on these basics and you won’t be sitting in a room wondering why she would ever cheat on you.

Time to Get Your Spouse to Agree to Marriage Counselling

So Who Goes For Marriage Counseling?

Of course there are no hard and fast rules, but statistics show that younger couples are far more likely to try counseling than couples who have been married for years and might not be so eager to try new and dynamic methods of rescuing their relationship.  Very often marriages of 30 or 40+ years are now ending in divorce because of the traditional values that these couples hold onto, which is really a waste of a relationship that may have been saved by a skilled counselor.

What is also a feature is that one party in the marriage will be ready to go for counseling but the other is perhaps not ready.  Getting your reluctant spouse to go for counseling with you can be a tricky situation and might require some kind of subtle pressure from you to make it happen.

Here’s How To Get Your Spouse To Agree To Counseling

1. Always try and ask your spouse to go with you in an honest and open way.  Make sure you explain how you’re feeling and how you believe the counseling might help your marriage/relationship.
2. If the initial response you get is a flat out “No!”  Don’t immediately start a battle of wills to make it happen.  Instead acknowledge to your spouse that you understand it’s a big scary step.
3. Try and suggest that you’re the one who needs help with some emotional problems and then finish by saying, ‘you’d really appreciate it if your spouse came with you in a supportive role’.
4. Further explain that your goal is to become the best partner/spouse you can and you sincerely believe that going to counseling will help you with that.
5. Also, you should understand and accept that your spouse maybe afraid of what going to marriage counseling means: that the marriage is virtually over, it’s now that you assure your spouse that it doesn’t mean that at all.  Explain that you value your relationship and that’s why you’re trying to find solutions to some problems to keep everything happy and healthy for both of you.

Finally, if all fails and your spouse still won’t go with you, then go on your own!  Going to relationship/marriage counseling on your own doesn’t make it worthless.  You can still go ahead and work on things that are important to you as an individual and that’s all good for your relationship/marriage.

Plus once they see you giving the relationship counseling a try, your reluctant spouse might just agree to give it a try!

Use Reverse Phone Detective to Catch a Cheating Spouse

It’s a sad truth that many people exist in a marriage or relationship where their spouse is cheating on them for far too many years.  They spend all their time pretending and putting on a brave face trying to ignore their cheating spouse’s behavior, pretending to be able to cope with the behavior and every day getting sadder and sadder.

Let me tell you this, a marriage in trouble can usually find the root of its problems within a lack of communication and a lack of intimacy.  By intimacy I don’t necessarily mean sexual intimacy, I mean emotional intimacy, which often has a far bigger impact on the marriage.

If you find your spouse cheating on you, it is undoubtedly because your spouse couldn’t get what they were looking for from you and so went outside the marriage to find it.  This is said not to blame the person who was cheated on, but to explain and take a good long cold look at what has gone wrong with the marriage.

It’s true that if the cheating spouse found themselves wanting something from the marriage that wasn’t there, then they should’ve had the guts and the commitment to step up and say so to their spouse before they took the often easy route of cheating.

This is why communication and real communication is so key to saving any marriage.  If a spouse is thinking of cheating, then it’s vital that they sit down and talk to their spouse and explain what they’re feeling.

If your spouse sits you down and begins explaining problems that exist for them, then as painful as it will be to hear, you must hear what they are saying.  Never ignore or push your spouse away when they want to talk or you might find that the next time they come to you to talk it will be about separating or divorce.

Save Your Marriage By Adding A Touch Of Romance

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Relationships and marriages that are harmful to you emotional or physically, should be scrutinized and analyzed before you think about saving them.  It could be very dangerous to stay in these toxic and controlling relationships and I would urge anyone in a relationship like this to immediately get some professional help.

At The Very Least Start By Asking Yourself These Questions:

• Does your spouse belittle and put you down in front of others?
• They say they love you, but do their actions back this up?
• Does your partner try and control you?  Are they constantly telling you what to wear?  Checking up on who you talk to?  Where you’ve been and who with?  Do you have to account for your every movement?
• Does your spouse try to make you dependent on them by trying to isolate you from your family and friends?  Handling all the big decisions and even smaller decisions without consulting you? 
• Have you changed things about yourself and what you used to enjoy to please them?  Do you feel as though you’re losing parts of yourself?

These controlling relationships don’t happen over night.  They creep up on you and often you don’t realize you’re in the situation until it’s too late.  These relationships classically draw your self-esteem and your self-confidence and can leave you emotionally dependant and an emotional mess.

They run to the cycle of a honeymoon period, followed by a huge confrontation (or sometimes a skilled and subtle manipulations) and then there’s the compliance or the reconciliation – only for it to all begin again.  You can lose your confidence and some people even suffer from depression. 

But you do have choices, you have real choices the key is to accept that and take the actions necessary to exercise those choices. 

• Not easy if you’ve suffered any sustained period of emotional manipulation, but you MUST find a way to stand up for yourself!
• Try and talk to someone close to you who will keep your confidence.  You can gain great support and help from just having someone on your side.
• Think about talking to a professional.  A therapy group can either help you get out of the relationship or help you assert yourself within that relationship.

The truth is that most relationships and marriages are not like this, they work pretty well and the couple are happy.  But if you recognize yourself as being the the controller or the controlled then you really need to stop and ask yourself why you’re behaving this way or why you’re allowing your spouse to treat you this way?

A healthy relationship is a two way street.  In a controlling relationship, the traffic’s only headed one way.  You have the power to change that, but you must take the power and use it!

Can I Save My Marriage? – That’s Up To You