Should You Tell Your Family and Friends He Cheated?
When you catch your spouse cheating, it’s devastating and you naturally might not immediately know how to deal with the situation. So you’re presented with two directions to take, you’re either going to want to keep what you’re going through to yourself, or you’re going to want to confide in family and friends as a means of support.
But should you immediately opt for the latter or should you keep things to yourself initially?
Well the stark answer to that is – it depends!
There are real times and occasions when you should seriously consider what use telling your nearest and dearest would be. This is because you’re always going to get those friends or family members who will demonize your spouse and expect you to dump him and move on and if you don’t, then you could find yourself with not only a cheating husband on your hands, but also a disapproving friend or family member.
So before you hit the phone sobbing your heart and telling your mum, your sister or your best friend that he’s cheating on you, think long and hard on it.
Truth be told there will come a time when it will be easier for you to openly share what you’ve been through or what you’re going through, but that time might be later on.
Consider thinking things through first. Decide what YOU want to do before you start getting advice from those around you and once you have things straight in your mind, then confide in them and you tell them what you did or what you’re going to do!
Remember, the decision is yours!
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Cheating Spouse – Is it All About Sex?
It’s a good question and one I was asked the other day by a reader who’s going through it with her cheating spouse. So is it always about sex?
Well the answer is yes and no! Or to muddy the waters even further, it can be!
The truth is people always think that when a spouse cheats that they cheat because they are sexually frustrated and what they have at home just isn’t working for them. Well for some cheats, that’s exactly the reason. It’s as basic and primal as that, but for others it has very little to do with sex and a lot more to do with what’s going on emotionally.
What’s going on emotionally simply manifests itself as an adulterous affair.
What is often missing, but often gets over looked, is that the spouse who cheats is looking to feed an emotional need that is lacking in the marriage.
Whether they know it or not, whether they acknowledge it or not, men are ALWAYS going to want to feel like they’re king of all they survey! Period! And anyone or anything that takes that feeling away from them they won’t cling to it, they will go looking for it someplace else with someone else.
The mistress is always waiting! She will always clear her schedule for him! She will always listen to him! She is completely appreciative of him! To her, he is the king of all he surveys and he sees that reflected back in her eyes when she looks back at him (Obviously what I’ve just outlined is true in the beginning at least!)
For the woman who cheats, she is looking to be needed and appreciated. Take that away from what she has at home and she will go looking for it outside.
As a woman how do you feel when you make an effort with your appearance and it goes unnoticed? How do you feel when you’re trying to talk to your spouse about how you feel and he’d rather watch the football? How do you feel when you’re not desired, made to feel as though what you bring to the table is irreplaceable? You feel worthless, that’s how.
The answer then is no, it’s not always about sex. Often times it’s about a deep seated emotional need that is not being met.
If you think you are falling down in these areas when you deal with your spouse, then change that now or you might find that your spouse has gone looking outside for what they need!
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