“How Can I Tell If My Husband Is Cheating?”
A friend asked me the other day, “How can I tell if my husband is cheating?” and the question surprised me. I thought of all the people to ask me that I never would’ve thought she was. I looked at their marriage as 100% rock solid and secure! But then, no marriage is immune from cheating if things start going wrong and they are left to go wrong.
So, I gave her a check list of signs to see if she really thought her husband was cheating.
- How’s your sex life? Has it become less or non existent?
- Is he keeping different hours that make no sense to you?
- Is he fixated on his cell/mobile and taking secret calls at weird times?
- Has he bought new clothes, underwear?
- Does he have times of the day that he can’t account for and for which he will not or cannot give you an explanation.
I had some more pointers to give to her, but by the time I had got to number 5 on my list I didn’t need to go any further. The shock realization on her face was all that I needed to know that she was now sure that her husband was cheating on her.
Here’s the thing, asking the question “How can I tell if my husband is cheating?” is one thing, being prepared for any answer that comes your way is another thing.
So make sure that when you go looking for an answer that you’re prepared for what that answer might be.
The last thing I said to my friend was to be 100% sure and have actual proof BEFORE she went and confronted her husband. I suggested she use Reverse Phone Detective to get the proof on a cell number she was suspicious about, but only if she was again sure proof is what she wanted.
Emotional Cheating – Is It Really Cheating?
I get asked this a lot – “Is emotional cheating, really cheating?” And my answer to that is always, “YES!”
But before we get into it, just what is “emotional cheating?”
Well basically it’s an inappropriate attachment to someone other than your spouse, but without the sex.
So, if someone in a committed relationship/marriage needs to find some kind of intimate emotional support from someone else, then there’s clearly a problem within the relationship that needs facing.
If there was nothing to the emotional attachment, then there would be nothing to hide from a spouse and no all around secrecy with the emotional affair.
If you’re confiding in a work colleague, sharing lunch, emailing someone, perhaps meeting up after work for talks and you can’t tell your spouse, then you have a problem and you’re having an emotional affair.
There really should be no situation and no one in your life that you couldn’t tell your spouse about IF they asked.
If you have parts of your day that you cannot share with your spouse, then you need to ask yourself what’s going on and what you should do about it.
Ask yourself this, how would your spouse feel if they discovered that you had a level of intimacy with this other person? Be honest with yourself. There’s a reason you haven’t told your spouse and that’s because you know it’s wrong.
Think long and hard about where you want to go with your relationship with your spouse and if the relationship is worth saving. Because fact is fact, exclude your spouse and there’s a problem! You’re cheating.
If your marriage/relationship is worth saving then I’d recommend that you quickly get to grips with this situation and look at getting hold of Save My Marriage/Relationship Today.
If your relationship isn’t worth saving then I would ask you to please, sit your spouse down and talk openly and honestly to them. It will save the mess and pain that is surely coming your way.
Good luck!
